You’re so skinny…

Yes, I was skinny; but for all the wrong reasons… in fact, I was more like skin and bones.

My relationship with him made me ill – physically that I was perpetually sick. The mental taxation of our being together manifested in my appearance and on my skin. So why did I not let go?

I thought I was fighting for something. But what was I fighting for? To prove that I wasn’t wrong or that I could hold on? All that fighting made one thing clear, I had a lot of fight in me but I had no reason to fight for someone who wouldn’t fight for me. Until then… I will fight for myself and all that deserve my love…

Thank you, Rachel Platten for putting it so nicely into something I can share.

Here is my fight song; take back my life song; prove that I’m right song…

Love vs teddy bears

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Recently I had a conversation with some girlfriends about the modern day wants and needs for boyfriends… And how they’re inversely related to your status in life.

As a younger single girl, insecure, unestablished in life, we need to feel some sort of gratification or justification for being who we are. So we do it the ways we know how: tons of frenemies and the precarious dream of that perfect boyfriend.. Sir prince charming.

Some of us get lucky, find our mate and that’s the end of the SGA.. and for others, we drift around whether by choice or not, and as we progress in life and social status, the mindset towards boyfriends becomes more of an ideal that a goal.

At least, that’s what it’s become for me. The idea of a boyfriend is as nice as the idea of a bestest best friend-forever. We don’t want to be lonely, and it’d be wonderful to have someone around who knows you.. The real you.

That’s one feeling single girls not-so-new to the dating scene have in common: a shared annoyance with the continual introductions. Talking about your background, where you’re from, what you do, what you enjoy, and whatever else makes you different from every other girl. Oh, and then pretending to care about what he says. The whole schpeel. We’re sick if it. And for the most part, we still have to do it because how else are they going to get to know the real you in an evening?

Anyway, back to the point; for the jaded, independently successful single girl, the ideal boyfriend is much like the picture up above: available, hassle-free, comfortable and your own personal sex-toy.

Theres a Guy for Everyone

I’ve been with hot guys, suave guys, nerdy guys, gangsters and etc. I obviously have my preferences, but no matter how weird the dude, there’s a girl out there for him.

I’ve never been the kind of girl to have a “type.” I’m an equal opportunity lover, but I’m personally not a fan of the classically handsome, manly man. I know they’re objectively good looking but I personally don’t find them attractive. One example of this phenomenon is Matt Bomer.

I mean, he is one foiine specimen. I can attest to that… but to be honest, I’d prefer Paul Rudd’s goofy face to this manly man.

I posted the above youtube clip on my facebook the other day because I thought it was adorable. I was shocked to find out that most of my friends didn’t share my sentiment. Half of the girls didn’t really “get it.” If a boyfriend of mine were to write me that poem, i’d be putty… Honestly, I’d probably start crying. Kumar expressed his love in his own unique and nerdy way. I’m no mathematician, but the nerd in me was thrilled–I loved all the math analogies. How could you NOT like the clip? I guess I like nerdy guys.

Do you have an unconventional “type”?

Bring on the Sweats (Part II)

hannah ep 10 banner 570(via)

This is Part II of the Bring on the Sweats series: How House Clothes Almost Killed Me — For Part I, click here.

So house clothes almost killed me. Well, more like I almost died* while wearing/lack of wearing my house clothes…

It’s Friday night and I’m starving. I have to eat before meeting up with friends or the night will end badly. I consider cooking but don’t want to wait for chicken to defrost so I opt to get food delivered instead. Delivery in NY is pretty quick and painless. Everything is done online; all you have to do is browse, click, and open the door. I play on the internet until my doorman calls to let me know that the delivery man is headed towards my apartment. “Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap! I’m not wearing any pants!”

I quickly get off the couch and put on pants (my grey sweats… you know the pair). I walk towards the front door then, BAM. I pass out out of nowhere. I wake up on the floor of my foyer, fully dressed but disheveled. I’m not sure how long I had been lying there but shortly after I come to my senses, the delivery man rings the doorbell. It turns out that I only blacked out for a couple of seconds. My blood sugar was low and I got up too quickly to put on pants and get to the door.

After the shock of falling on my face wore off, I ate dinner and lounged around until it was time to get ready to go out (I may or may not have started bawling in between). Now most of you don’t know me but in the not-so-distant past, I was the queen of going out. I’ve done boozy brunch (with bottle service) til 5 pm, only to go out again for dinner and drinks at 8 pm and come home after eating breakfast around 5 am. But that single girl is long gone.

Nowadays, if I have tentative plans, by the time 9:30 pm rolls around, a very strong wave of laziness washes over me. On the night I almost died*, the laziness was also met with a lot of pain, ugly scratches and bruising. I obviously didn’t make it out that night, but even on any other night, it’s become a nearly impossible task to take the single girl out of her house clothes. The most common excuse for not getting dressed is, “Ugh, but I’m so comfortable right now!” For the same reason why I put on the house clothes after work, why would I want to take them off?

My girls and I have spoken about this phenomenon ad nauseum and after much scientific testing, we’ve concluded that house clothes are to be blamed for about 70.3% of the time we don’t go out on the weekends. I look at it like this; once you pull a new umbrella out of it’s casing, it’s nearly impossible to stuff it back in. The same goes for me and nice (i.e. tight, fitted) clothing–once I shimmy out of a pencil skirt, why would I want to stuff myself back into a bandage dress? It’s just that much harder…

Or am I just too lazy for my own good?

*May be exaggerating a tiny bit.

To date or not to date…

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Boys.
Tall boys, short boys, skinny boys, fat boys, athletic boys, nerdy boys, shy boys, frat boys. I’ve dated my share of all different types of them. And I can strongly confirm that I’ve loved them all in different ways. But there are some types of boys that I’ve learned to know if I see them to RUN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION! That’s why I will share with you a few types of guys to strongly avoid at all (okay, mostly all) costs.

1. Boys who still live with their mother after 25
This type of boy is a straight up mama’s boy, and won’t go out with you unless his mom doesn’t need her dry cleaning picked up, her bank called, her prescriptions refilled and picked up, and they’ve had breakfast, lunch, and dinner together already. Oh and make sure to bring him back home before midnight, or he’ll have hell to pay. There’s a fine line between mama’s boys and men who love their mothers. A mama’s boy does exactly what his mom tells him to do when she wants him to do it. And it’s not a coincidence that the mothers who bore these boys are usually control freaks who think their needs are one and the same as the needs of their sons. That’s how you end up by yourself on a Saturday night, eating a microwave dinner and cursing yourself for wasting your freshly shaved legs for nothing because your bf had to cancel on you in order to take his mother grocery shopping at the particular place she “needed” to go to that day. Four years later, I’m STILL cursing that night!

2. Boys who leave their phone on silent 24/7.
I hate this type of boy. This boy is usually, if not always, a player. I can see you looking down at your phone every few minutes, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that you are texting someone else. These boys can be oh so sneaky though, because they will shower you with affection when you are together, but if you try to look at their phone no one is quicker to keep it away from you than them. Boys who leave their phone on silent all the time are usually smooth talkers, making it difficult to distinguish between a lie and a legitimate reason. It makes sense since they get so much more practice with whoever it  is on the other end of that phone. But as tempting as it is to try and justify their actions, simply put, NEXT.

3. Boys who constantly tell you how much money they make…
And how many material possessions they have.
I get it, you make a lot of money and can afford nice things. But I can afford my own nice things, or at least the things I want/need. I don’t care that you drive a BMW 7 series if you’re a terrible driver. If you can’t have a conversation with me without mentioning how much so and so cost or what exclusive restaurant you ate at last week, I won’t be able to keep my food down without gagging at your douchebag tendencies. Life is more than dollars and cents, and if you can’t see past that, you won’t get a second date. I say second and not first because hey, these guys are more than glad to show you what they can afford, and a single girl could use a divine meal once in a while.

4. Boys who tell white lies.
It’d be obvious to say boys who tell lies, especially big ones. But what’s not so obvious are the white lies that mean more than you would think at first glance. A guy who lies to you about sharing common interests is a guy who has no confidence to be himself and try to prove to you that he’s worth your time. Which pretty much means he isn’t worth it. You’re not there to be his life coach, you just met! Another thing that is a pet peeve of mine: when a guy tells me I look good in something, or that I don’t look fatter when I really am. You’re not doing me any favors, especially after we break up and I look at myself in the mirror and realize I need to work out to look and feel better again. Yeah I’m look at you, ex, and I’m looking at the photos of me in 2009 where my friend laughed out loud when he saw how much heavier I was during that time. Vehemently moving on…

5. And finally boys who are “nice”.
There’s a reason nice guys finish last. And just like men who love their moms and mama’s boys, there’s a distinctive difference between “nice” and genuinely nice guys. Most “nice” guys are just jerks who aren’t smart enough or aggressive enough to manipulate girls the way that their “opposites” can. “Oh I’m so good to her as her friend, but she keeps dating these assholes who do nothing but hurt her.” Wait, you said friend right? Right. That tired old sob story doesn’t fly with me. And how nice are you if you’re doing all these things for me under the guise of friendship when what you really ultimately want is to get in my pants? Real nice guys are upfront about their motives. They think the bad boys are the only ones playing a game with the girl, when in reality they’re playing a game as well. The second you think of a girl “friend” as more than that without telling her, and then get upset when she dates someone else, you’re putting her in a lose-lose situation. I won’t date you if I don’t know what you want , so either nut up or shut up.

As always, take this with a grain of salt, because there are always exceptions to the rules. But seriously, don’t date the mama’s boys.

Bonus D.N.D (do not date): the guy who is more into his body and image than yours.
When a guy checks himself out in the mirror more than you do, takes longer to get ready for dinner, and takes even more selfies, you can bet it’s a big red flag that he’s just not that into you, or at least not as much as he’s into himself. It’s narcissistic and just a plain lady-boner killer. DNW (do not want).

Handsome narcissistic young man looking in a mirror(Although I might make an exception for him..what? Yum!)

Single Girl Meals: Cooking for 1

Foreword: Separately “kitchen” and “domestication” seem to have no correlation but place them within a few words of each other and it somehow has a negative undertone, almost demeaning. Perhaps it is culture or seeing our moms slaving away in the kitchen to feed her family; she gave up her youth, her dream and her beauty to care for her sometimes ungrateful children. I never wanted to be like her in that sense.   The man I marry will simply have to cook for me I decided. And then one day I walked into the kitchen “I’m going to make soup for Christopher!”I announced and I set off to learn how to make a pot of soup for five. After that it was “I’m going to make steak for Wilson and I made a meal out of three steaks. Finally, one day I made Thanksgiving dinner for John’s family and extended family.

And so that is how I started learning to cook – I cooked for two, for three, for five, for ten and for twenty…

17(From Eat, Pray, Love)

I wasn’t very hungry after John and I broke up. In fact, I don’t remember being hungry for a month. My girlfriend prescribed me wine and chocolate and another sent Georgetown Cupcakes.

You will want to eat again one day they promised. Surely, one day, I woke up with a mission. $75 dollars worth of groceries and 2 hours later I had produced a three course meal. Only to double over in pain 30 minutes later… I had eaten too much.

I was faced with a new problem… an appetizer, entree, side and dessert was suddenly too much where it wasn’t enough before. A pot of chili suddenly became tedious to finish.

Like many things – sleeping, dressing, laundry – I suddenly needed to learn how to for one.

So now I’m starting from scratch, starting from the beginning, perhaps where I should have started years ago. As Matthew McConaughey puts it, “I needed to  re-calibrate!”

SpaghettiMarinara

Single Girl Apartment

carrie-interior-02-1024Carrie Bradshaw’s Single Girl Apartment
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I was inspired to start this blog when a newly married girlfriend of mine mentioned that she was packing up her things and relinquishing the keys to her “single girl apartment” which got me thinking about MY single girl apartment. How over the past 5-6 years, over a handful of countries and a whole slew of apartments, I’ve lived this amazingly colourful life and have experienced so many things but at the end of the day, have always come back to a tiny little nook in the city that I call my own.

The Single Girl Apartment is a key element in the life of any single girl; one part safe haven where you store all the trinkets and tidbits (and shoes!) that have brought you to exactly where you are, but to a certain extent, a place that is also ephemeral in that once life takes its course and changes occur, it will remain in your archive of memories, stories to be told about your ‘good ol’ single days’.

So here is Single Girl Apartment: the blog. A collaborative place for my single girls and not-so-single girls all around the world to share their stories from the bedroom and boardroom as we carve out a place in the world but always have a place to come home to.