You’re so skinny…

Yes, I was skinny; but for all the wrong reasons… in fact, I was more like skin and bones.

My relationship with him made me ill – physically that I was perpetually sick. The mental taxation of our being together manifested in my appearance and on my skin. So why did I not let go?

I thought I was fighting for something. But what was I fighting for? To prove that I wasn’t wrong or that I could hold on? All that fighting made one thing clear, I had a lot of fight in me but I had no reason to fight for someone who wouldn’t fight for me. Until then… I will fight for myself and all that deserve my love…

Thank you, Rachel Platten for putting it so nicely into something I can share.

Here is my fight song; take back my life song; prove that I’m right song…

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Single Girl Problems: Your Hubby Hates Me

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“I’m soooooooooooo sorry!” My girlfriend B texted the other day.

I glanced at my phone, a little confused by her message when the follow up message popped up.

“My husband deleted you on from my account on Facebook so I just added you back… add me, add me!” it read.

I rolled my eyes and sighed in resignation ; this was not the first time this had happened and I knew for a fact that this probably wouldn’t be the last time either.

Single girls get a bad rap, we really do… especially the girls who are not homebodies, no matter how “nice” or “tame” we are. In the eyes of boyfriends and husbands, we are the bad influence, the ones who are steering their women in the wrong direction.

Pleaaaaaaaase… All girls know the betches who get married first are the REAL party animals – the ones who still have that rocket fuel of all night binge drinking and dancing on table tops type partying left. Single girls… we’re just tired man… tired all the time because although we don’t go hard, we still have the option to go (which these days we prefer not to take naaaa mean?)

I think the misunderstanding is this: Men think that single girls are the reason why your girlfriend/wife is partying it up and going home drunk.

But here’s the truth:  We’re not! Single girls don’t ask their attached or married friends to go out because we know her priority is her boyfriend/hubby.

However, when she asks, there’s no reason to say no. Single girls have a lot of time and freedom, attached girls have less, and married girls have even less than that so when an attached girl or a married girl has time (or has had a particularly bad argument with her significant other), she will immediately call her single friend (me!) for a night of fun. I am tired by midnight but as a good girlfriend and being the trooper that I am, I will party on… to the point where married girlfriend gets drunk and I have to call her husband and ask him to pick her up. . 

My best friend’s boyfriends have disliked me because as mama hen, I am constantly making sure her drunk ass gets home in one piece and my friend B’s husband knows for a fact that every time they have a fight, she will call me and ask me to go out for drinks and eventually ends up passing out at my apartment.

So let’s get this straight, I am being a supportive friend dammit! If it wasn’t for me, who knows what my friend aka your drunk ass girlfriend/wife would be up to. I am the one who makes sure she’s drinking fewer glasses of wine than she’s drinking, I am the one pushing away sleazy guys who are hitting on her and I can’t help it that she wants to party when I just want to sit in my house clothes and take my make up off for an early night.

Men, let me break it down for you. We’re the ones taking care of your girlfriends/wives when we go out. We’re the ones who are acting as her therapist. We’re the ones convincing our girlfriends to stop arguing with you. And most importantly, we’re the ones suggesting she go home and have make up sex with you.

So yeah, you can thank us later.

Tips for the Clueless

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Unlike my best friend who is perpetually surrounded by men who want to date her, I’ve never been the type of girl you notice straight off the bat. Apparently, I grow on people and my world experiences and lifestyle make me more interesting (than I actually am?). What can I say, I guess my sparkling personality doesn’t come through immediately and that’s where low-cut tops come in handy. But herein lies the problem… All girls want to be wanted and we do a lot of stupid things to get the attention of boys that aren’t worth it, myself included.

Considering the type of guy friends I have, I should know better and I should definitely be better at this whole dating thing than I am. But no, I don’t have a clue. I will be the girl whose head is constantly buzzing with the whys and the what ifs. I will settle and make excuses and disregard all the advice in ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ because I’m holding out the hope that he actually is.

In a nutshell, I have been seeing a guy who proclaims that he is an introvert but will always hang out with his friends and use work as an excuse to not spend time with me. We communicate on a regular basis but when I start pulling away, he jumps on it and becomes extremely attentive. He always has a way with words and regularly turns the tables on me and makes me feel bad for not being nicer to him.

To which M, my go to guy when I need a slap of reality, he of the “I like that you go for the natural look but it wouldn’t kill you to get dolled up once in a while PT” piece of advice said, “Shut the fuck up. Stop it, just stop, you’re just embarrassing yourself?” and proceeded to give me these little gems.

–  You’ve already fucked it up by sleeping with him, don’t do it again. If you want to salvage that start from square one, this means no kissing either.

He doesn’t get the benefits that a boyfriend has without treating you like a girlfriend. This means, dinner, drinks, coffee whatever. Stop all communication until he asks you out like a real man and don’t ask him out first either!

Make him chase you. You don’t need to play head games or anything but you have to treat yourself like a valuable commodity. He needs to show that he really likes you and that you’re worth spending time, effort, and money chasing. Basically, he needs to put an investment towards the relationship – that’s like the most important part of it.

 If a guy likes a girl, he’ll move heaven and hell to see her. He’s never “too busy” and you’re not “rushing it”.  Hanging out, going for coffee and doing dinner is not rushing anything, that’s just the normal route to sex.

If he doesn’t treat you with respect don’t bother.

So to conclude: I am writing this one off as an epic fail and will attempt to avoid all men who consider me an afterthought.

Thank goodness for boys like M. It may not be nice but at least it’s real.