Unlike my best friend who is perpetually surrounded by men who want to date her, I’ve never been the type of girl you notice straight off the bat. Apparently, I grow on people and my world experiences and lifestyle make me more interesting (than I actually am?). What can I say, I guess my sparkling personality doesn’t come through immediately and that’s where low-cut tops come in handy. But herein lies the problem… All girls want to be wanted and we do a lot of stupid things to get the attention of boys that aren’t worth it, myself included.
Considering the type of guy friends I have, I should know better and I should definitely be better at this whole dating thing than I am. But no, I don’t have a clue. I will be the girl whose head is constantly buzzing with the whys and the what ifs. I will settle and make excuses and disregard all the advice in ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ because I’m holding out the hope that he actually is.
In a nutshell, I have been seeing a guy who proclaims that he is an introvert but will always hang out with his friends and use work as an excuse to not spend time with me. We communicate on a regular basis but when I start pulling away, he jumps on it and becomes extremely attentive. He always has a way with words and regularly turns the tables on me and makes me feel bad for not being nicer to him.
To which M, my go to guy when I need a slap of reality, he of the “I like that you go for the natural look but it wouldn’t kill you to get dolled up once in a while PT” piece of advice said, “Shut the fuck up. Stop it, just stop, you’re just embarrassing yourself?” and proceeded to give me these little gems.
– You’ve already fucked it up by sleeping with him, don’t do it again. If you want to salvage that start from square one, this means no kissing either.
– He doesn’t get the benefits that a boyfriend has without treating you like a girlfriend. This means, dinner, drinks, coffee whatever. Stop all communication until he asks you out like a real man and don’t ask him out first either!
– Make him chase you. You don’t need to play head games or anything but you have to treat yourself like a valuable commodity. He needs to show that he really likes you and that you’re worth spending time, effort, and money chasing. Basically, he needs to put an investment towards the relationship – that’s like the most important part of it.
– If a guy likes a girl, he’ll move heaven and hell to see her. He’s never “too busy” and you’re not “rushing it”. Hanging out, going for coffee and doing dinner is not rushing anything, that’s just the normal route to sex.
– If he doesn’t treat you with respect don’t bother.
So to conclude: I am writing this one off as an epic fail and will attempt to avoid all men who consider me an afterthought.
Thank goodness for boys like M. It may not be nice but at least it’s real.